She works hard for the–oh nevermind.

I cannot believe that anyone who completes the process of thinking up an idea, writing the idea down (however long it becomes), editing that idea and then opening that idea to strangers for them to ridicule does it because they expect to get rich. Really, just from a cost/benefit stand point, the costs are often high whereas the benefits can seem nonexistent. So, yeah, writers don’t normally write just for the money. You’ll notice my use of “just” because while it may not be the only reason or even the driving reason, making money is a reason (and feels damn good).

So, how much money can a writer expect to make?

Anyone with Google (or Bing if you are freaky like that) can type in the query, “How much money do writers make?” and receive page after page of articles, blog posts and forum posts that explain in excruciatingly vague as well as painfully specific detail just how very little an average author actually makes (on average :D).

These sites seem to glory in being the bearers of bad news. They post with bold headlines, bright colors, pictures, even graphs. As if they need graphs. Really, they could simply substitute their graphs with huge frowny faces and I would glean the same information from them as if they’d presented me with colored bars labeled to fit in a large rectangle.

However, as I am never one to miss a chance at making a graph, I…made my own graph(s). ((a little anti climactic there at the end))

green circleThis pie chart represents the amount that googling “How much money do writers make?” depresses me. (Note: this pie is entirely filled in, indicating a clear 100% depression amount)

blue circleThis pie chart represents how many fucks I will give regarding the results from googling, “How much money do writers make?” as I move on with my writing career. (Note: This pie is empty, indicating zero fucks.)

pieThis is pie.

So, in conclusion, I cannot draw pie.

Also, writers can’t write for the money. It cannot be the only reason a writer writes. So don’t open our conversations with, “Oh, you’re a writer, you know only 1 out of 30 billion writers make enough to quit their day jobs right?” because 1. I know and 2. You won’t get any pie if you do.

And I make way better pie than I draw.